on running

I seldom post about my fitness (that makes me feel like I should have a thong leotard with a belt and leg warmers) on my blog. Everyone who reads knows I am hyper active. I am regularly frustrated with having to sit through a movie, I am always doing something while I read, talk on the phone, watch tv.
You all are familiar with my eating situation. Spinach for breakfast in my green monsters. Homemade soup for lunch (made a killer pot of mushroom soup this weekend) and nothing I can pronounce and tell you where it comes from. I count my veggies daily. I keep track of water in-take. I cook. Organically and whole whenever I can. Lentil tacos instead of TVP. Local veggies if at all possible. Blah blah blah. I still cook and have no desire to eat raw, so I've not gone off the deep end yet.
You all know that several days (maybe 4) I walk my dogs an hour or so ...like me you have to wear them out so they will be good in the house. If given a choice between a fancy dinner with wine and hiking and a jug of water...I'll take hiking almost every time. If it weren't for my love of pretty girl make up and kick ass knee boots, I'd be a total hippy granola outdoors girl. But I do plan some of my activity.
My most recent addiction is crossfit 2 to 3 days a week into my routine. Folks, I love it. Its hard. I mean, face scrunching, sweat dripping in 3 minutes of work, I can't do this anymore hard. It feels good to work so hard at 6 a.m. I come to school bouncy, endorphins working, students giving me the sideways, "Mama, its so early...." look as I sing and joke with them walking in the door at 8 a.m. Plus, one of my instructors plays House of Pain and stirring up my Everlast lust juice early in the day is a nice little jolt.
I also do Krav Maga every Saturday. Its not as hard, but it feels good to hit things and coordinate my body movements one after another in the complex choreography that this form of fighting uses. It also feels damn good to hit my instructor in the chest (he has a kick pad) and still hear him go, "ooof, good hits, Err." And it cracks me up, that when he introduced himself as my partner for end drills that my natural response was, "Yeah, dude. I know you. You choked me last week." I've noticed that while I am working hard during both of these exercise classes, I'm not gassing in the same way that other students may be. I give this credit to my main sport. Running.
Except. I'm a really sucky runner. I destroyed my hip about three years ago. Two (count 'em two) doctors (both team doctors for professional sports teams) told me I wouldn't run again. I am slow. Like 11/12 minute mile slow. But I'm steady. At races where others pass me and then walk up the hills, I gain time on them (shorter steps, harder work). I have some serious trouble with PF. I go to yoga twice a week (the big girl's class that other instructors take not because I am bendy, but because I am strong... how long do you want me to hold chair? No sweat). I've strained my calf in the middle of half marathon training and am not sure it will hold for more than a few miles at a time.
Which begs the question. Am I a real runner? What if (and this is a question thats been looming in the back of my noggin for quite some time) I can never be sucessful with long runs? With high miles for the week without injury? Am I a real runner when I run 3 to 4 comfortable miles a few days a week? Am I a real runner if I am comfortable with that? Am I a real runner if running becomes part of a more circular training plan instead of what all my other workouts strive to support?
I'll bet you thought I had some Err style philosophy to lay on this question, huh? I don't, really. I know I love to run. I love the time alone. I love being outside. I love my shower after and feeling hungry (especially when there is something good waiting for me to eat). I love the rhythm and sweat. But I don't love the frustration of trying to go for more and hurting myself. I don't love icing my hurty parts. I don't love the judgments of really good runners who would consider me a jogger. So I don't really have an answer for this. But I'll let you know what I come up with.